Advice For Your First Event

Type of Event

The first thing to consider is the kind of social experience that will be comfortable for you, and help you feel encouraged about continuing to explore. Our various events provide different social experiences and atmospheres. It is helpful to select the type of event that best suits your personality.

Do you want a large group setting in which you can see a good range of members of the local scene?

The Roland’s Munch the first Tuesday of the month is where it’s at!  This munch gathers 100+ local kinksters into all different kinds of play and from many different walks of life.

James St Pub also brings in between 60 to 80 folks each month in a more intimately sized venue.

Do you want a smaller social setting in which you can get a feel for a few people at a time?

On the second Tuesday of the month we offer an event for the under 35 age group: TNG Pittsburgh (35 and under).  This makes for more low key events, and can be ideal for those who feel more comfortable with their age peers.

Happy Hours and Sloshes are smaller high energy events with a rowdier atmosphere.

Bonus munches on the fifth Tuesday of month at various locations draw about 40 to 60 attendees.

Do you want to learn from more experienced players?

Bridge has three education based events: FUNdamentals, EDGEucation, and The TNG Meeting.
Some of the other local groups like Threshold, Ropebite, Hitchin Bitches also have instructional events.

Timing

If you can, think about arriving right at the posted start time.  It will allow you to acclimate to the venue, and have more focused conversations with the host and others without the sense of having to compete with as many others for their attention.

What to Wear

You don’t need to dress up, but pick something in which you feel you look good. People show up in work clothes, dresses, jeans and t shirts, Sunday best, and everything in between.

You should only wear fetish, bondage gear, or extremely revealing clothing to parties. And even then, cover up until you’re inside.

Basic Etiquette

If you aren’t sure what to do or say, just ask someone.

We were all new once, people are friendly and happy to help you figure things out if you ask nicely!

Ask first if it’s okay to touch someone before you touch them, even a hug.

Usually, we learn how to behave in group settings by watching others and imitating behavior, however in kink you can’t just mimic what you see people do. The people you see touching each other, in both friendly and intimate ways, have already established that contact. A person you watch hug many people might only hug friends and partners, but have many friends and partners.

It’s okay, and good, to walk up to a group of people and introduce yourself!

Even if they’re all talking and you don’t know them. As long as it doesn’t seem like a private conversation and you don’t interrupt someone mid-sentence, it’s just as simple as walking up and saying, “Hi, I’m Pavlov. I’m new here.”

If you’re at a party, don’t approach or interrupt people playing, or who are engaged in aftercare, (which looks private and intimate, frequently involves cuddling).

Be friendly and open minded!

It’s okay if you’re not accustomed to sex and kink positive environments. It’s also okay if you’re uncomfortable at first, but try to be polite and non-judgemental.  You certainly don’t have to talk about anything you’d like not to. In fact, it’s okay to say, “I’m not comfortable talking about that right now.  Can we talk about something else instead?”

More questions? Shoot me an email:  pavlovrimanere@gmail.com

7 Comments

  1. Sara

    As much as i desire to put myself out there..i am BRAND new and nervous. I’m 28 and a nurse in the pgh area and i want to start to meet people in this group…

    Reply

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